Chris Hedges inspires

Hello! I have finished War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning, by Chris Hedges. This was a very special book for me. It took me a while to finish because it sparked so many ideas about the direction I want to take my book, information I want to investigate further, and the importance of maintaining cognition about my own culpability as a military veteran.
Like all of my favorite books, I have destroyed this one by filling the margins and back pages with sentences, remarks and notes on topics that Hedges brings up, such as the awful allure of war. One of Hedges themes about the need to belong to something has greatly assisted me in creating my own piece on boot camp, which is centered on the idea of belonging through food, and I am ultimately trying to connect it to “foreign enemies'” need to do the same, so that my ultimate goal of the piece and future book recognizes that I (we) and the “enemy” are the same.
Hedges book has also helped me to further understand and articulate key points that I need to include in my own writing, such as the sexual perverseness that accompanies war. He states, “In the midst of slaughter the only choice is often between hate and lust” (167) and “war is necrophilia" (165). Keeping his words in my thoughts helps me to focus on images and metaphors that I want to portray. Throughout my writing I want to allude to the hyper-sexuality between soldiers, enemies, and even between a government and its portrayal of military members. I like the way Hedges continuously weaves previous themes into new paragraphs, so that the reader is not disconnected but instead he builds a steady arc to explore larger concepts as the book progresses. Writing my next piece, I have tried to incorporate this style instead of my idea to confuse the narrative to make a point, which ends up confusing me as well.
Moreover, Hedges nonfiction account of historical facts and first person observations reminds me of one of my favorite “war” books, A Farewell to Arms, with its relationships that develop in the heady acceptance of future battles and end with its passionless refusal to participate. Here, like Hedges suggests, war and lust are synonymous.
Finally, Hedges inspires and enlightens me to write angry, to not hold back, to tell the ugly truth, even when those truths are mine. Hedges includes Asadourian’s words: “You write because you have to. It all wells up inside of you. It is like a hole that fills constantly with water and no amount of bailing will empty it. This is why I continue” (124). I can only hope to continue with my writing and produce something of such great style, clarity, and relevance. Thanks Jess, I’d be lost without this and not even know it!
~C

Grasshoppers, Cannibalism and War (OH MY!)

Greetings! I have been working on two different writing projects. The first is a short piece/chapter that begins the cannibalism theme I am hoping to build in my book. I am researching cannibalism in a book by Peggy Reeves Sanday, titled Divine Hunger: Cannibalism as a Cultural System, which is a highly researched sociological approach that views cannibalism as a cultural ritual having nothing to do with physical hunger but, instead, used in different societies as a part of retaining social order through rules, fertility and myth. Interestingly, Sanday argues that cannibalism did exist in cultures, such as the ancient Aztecs, who did not suffer from hunger, but cannibalism did not exist in other societies that did struggle with famine.
The research is helping me develop a strong base so that I can stretch the metaphor in my book. Sanday’s notes and bibliography section is nearly as large as the body text and will hone my further research to the specific ideas I am attempting to convey, suh as cannibalism as a tool of sexual power evident in both male/female and male/male relationships as written extensively by Fitz John Porter Poole (as suggested by Sanday's bib and notes).
Additionally, I have been watching The History Channel's “Gangland.” The series has underscored my connection between the military and cannibalism, as large inner-city gangs have militant structures, recruiting practices, and are fed with concepts common to the military. Even more disturbing is the admission by former gang members that they refer to their victims as “food,” which connects my idea of cannibalism and war.
There are two other books that I am reading in doses: The Art of the Personal Essay and War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning. Joan Didion’s “Goodbye to All That” has sparked a personal essay that I have been writing in my head since Laurie Alberts’ lecture “Animals in Literary Prose.” During Albert’s lecture, I gave a description about torching a grasshopper. After I read my brief, hastily written piece, Alberts instructed that what people share about animals says a lot about their character, and she’s right, so I am exploring the reasons I torched a grasshopper one night, outside of the fact that they gross me out, based on innocence lost (an attempt at something like Diddon’s, I hope). I must add a disclaimer: I do not make a habit of torching anything, just one night, one hapless grasshopper, one disillusioned girl.
Now, I am having fun researching grasshoppers in my spare time, so that in my personal essay, knowledge of self follows knowledge of the insect, maybe like the obsessive cataloguing in Moby Dick, but on a smaller scale. I don’t know! I am just playing with this for now, but it is something that won’t go away. Maybe once I get it out of my head I can concentrate on my chapter. Ha Ha. I have read the first chapter of War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning, by Chris Hedges. It is amazing! This book is helping me to understand what I want to articulate regarding war's myths, attractions, and results. I love this sentence: "...the lie in war is almost always the lie of omission" (22).
Hope all is well with everyone!
~C

Angelhead and Tell it Slant

Hi! Sorry if I am behind on this; we are looking at purchasing a home. I finished Greg Bottoms’ Angelhead. It was fantastic! I’m very attracted to his style of fusing short incidences into a longer, complete narrative. This is something that I want to do with my book. I am thinking of studying his transitions for one of my critical papers (if that’s okay, Jess). I am also reading Tell it Slant. I am taking a slow approach with this book (I am only on the second chapter) because I really want to absorb all of the great instructions and concepts it provides. The first chapter talks about using the five senses like Sue Silverman has mentioned often. I am connecting Tell it Slant with Angelhead and focusing on Bottoms’ approach to allow a single idea to represent many of the senses as well as a larger metaphor. For instance, Bottoms uses electricity as a modern convenience, the sight of the living room anchored by the TV, its messages sounding throughout the house, his brother Michael smelling like electricity, which connects Bottoms’ idea of the modern world as a possible source of his brother’s illness. All of the smaller details fit together into a larger metaphor of modern consumer-based culture and the effects it has on society, as radically interpreted by his brother’s breakdown. These everyday descriptions lead the reader toward an empathetic view of his brother’s mental decline and his family’s struggle to handle it while attempting to maintain an “average-family” façade.
After reading these two books, I have substantially revised my piece “Screaming in Silence,” which, sadly, I am still working on a different title. To those who have read it, what do you think of “Voice Over” (which goes with the idea of a controller’s voice, a writer finding her voice, and an individual fighting to move from victim to survivor, regaining her voice)? Please tell me if this is horrible!
Back to the two books: I am trying to weave metaphors that fit together into a larger theme, like Bottoms’ book does, as well as focus on the small details that create those metaphors, like Tell it Slant instructs. My writing before had incongruent metaphors, but I was just playing with ideas, so these two books have really helped me hone on specifics (I hope!). Sometimes I think I could write this story for two years and never be finished; I guess that means it’s love!
Much love and creativity to all!
~C

Okay, ha ha...I misspelled healing as healings

I just finished Silverman’s Love Sick: One Woman’s Journey through Sexual Addiction. I wanted to jump into revisions as soon as I got home, but after starting to read Sue’s book on the plane I decided that I needed to finish it before approaching my own writing. Although her memoir is based on some different themes than what I am writing, there are similarities in her plot points, such as cannibalism, placing one’s self in danger for survival, and learning to use words as tools of healings. The way that Silverman weaves through various time frames is something that I need to work on. After reading her book, I recognize that my transitions are a bit jarring. Also, Silverman explains through the voice of experience, whereas I just cut from one thing to another without much reflection. I liked how she only used her first name once in the book. I have trouble using my first name, but reading her book has shown me that I really don’t have to unless it is germane to the story, such as hers is when she uses it to document her signature on a form. Additionally, I liked how Sue used her “unit” as a place of grounding for the plot and the setting. Reading Silverman’s book truly helped me to understand what the workshop was saying about leaving tears off the page and infusing more reflection. Now let’s see if I can put this all to use.
~C

Reading

First post: I am reading Sue Silverman's Love Sick. It is fantastic. Reading it really helps me to understand how to write cold to leave the tears off the paper. It wasn't on the reading list, but I wanted to read it on the plane and I cannot put it down!
Hope all is well
~C